jefe
Star Player
Posts: 341
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Post by jefe on Aug 17, 2012 17:41:21 GMT -5
Back in the office the phone rang. Thought it might be the IRS. Instead it was Paul. He went on about something called 'budgets'. Didn't understand a word of it. Think it might be a new TV show. Ryan or Ron? (Or Rand?) Not sure any of them understand what a budget is really.
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Post by Boyo on Aug 18, 2012 3:48:15 GMT -5
There's two of them? Now I really am confused. Just like during those campaign debates.
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Post by Boyo on Aug 18, 2012 4:03:48 GMT -5
Bomney's diary Day 2 Tried to log onto the forum. Unsuccessfully. Surely a matter of the forum having a liberal bias. It seemed to know I was 'stinking rich'. You betcha! i50.tinypic.com/nx2iok.pngWent to church this morning. The minister told us the story about Mozes. How he grew up in suburban Huntsville, Alabama and that he once parted Wilson lake when trying to find a shortcut to Muscle Shoals. Fascinating stuff. Still no word from the IRS. I wonder how long I must wait. Nothing more for now. I'm off to a cow milking contest.
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Post by humbird on Aug 18, 2012 14:01:25 GMT -5
You need the hair dye with just the right amount of gray at the sides.....oh and don't forget to put your dog on the roof of your car.
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Post by Boyo on Aug 19, 2012 11:40:36 GMT -5
Bomney's diary - day 3
The cow-milking contest didn't go very well. A 97 year old lady with purple hair won it and I got disqualified for cow tipping. When I went back to the parking lot I found out that my car had been vandalized. Someone broke off a wing mirror. Ha! As if that's going to stop me. I got another one. Actually, I think the perpetrator must have been a freedom hating liberal, considering that I have a USMC bumper sticker.
Arriving back home I received a fax. I thought for sure it would be the IRS this time, but instead it was from an Italian businessman, Lottoti or something.. He wants to help me put together a winning team. He claims to have a lot of experience with getting people motivated for the project. I think I'll give him a call on Monday.
Got a tip to put my dog on the roof of the car. I like it. It can protect it while I'm gone and keep liberal vandals at a safe distance.
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Post by humbird on Aug 19, 2012 11:43:27 GMT -5
I don't even know what to say! This is completely out of my league!
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Post by Boyo on Aug 20, 2012 5:28:22 GMT -5
Bomney's diary
Day 4
Called Littuto. I had to let the phone ring a really long time before he picked up. He started talking loudly in Italian. Just like the sort of things I hear when I cut in line at Al's Pizza Place. Can't understand a word of it. Then he hung up. A few hours later he called back, apparently he lives in a different time zone and I called at 3 AM. Who knew the rest of the world had different time zones? This information might give me the edge in the upcoming debates. I’m going to dazzle everyone with my knowledge of foreign affairs. In fact, I’m going to make it one of the key issues of my campaign. American time zones use cutting edge technology and we must bring our superior time zones to the rest of the world. With Bomney as president the whole world will live in time zones that are proudly made in the USA!
Anyway, Lotutti had a really good idea. When putting together a winning team it’s tempting to hire only the best people, but it’s more sensible to hire the people who’re willing to work for the lowest wages! I like how this man thinks. That’s exactly what I’ve been doing with my gardener and cleaning lady. In fact, I’ve decided to fire Paul (Ron or Ryan, whatever his other name was) and hire my cook’s sister as my running mate.
Bomney – Consuela 2012, we can’t lose now.
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Post by humbird on Aug 20, 2012 9:37:53 GMT -5
Blue is the color Bomney is the name stashing $ in offshore accounts is the name of the game.
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jefe
Star Player
Posts: 341
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Post by jefe on Aug 21, 2012 9:26:46 GMT -5
Called Littuto. I had to let the phone ring a really long time before he picked up. He started talking loudly in Italian. Just like the sort of things I hear when I cut in line at Al's Pizza Place. Can't understand a word of it. Then he hung up. A few hours later he called back, apparently he lives in a different time zone and I called at 3 AM. Who knew the rest of the world had different time zones? This information might give me the edge in the upcoming debates. I’m going to dazzle everyone with my knowledge of foreign affairs. In fact, I’m going to make it one of the key issues of my campaign. American time zones use cutting edge technology and we must bring our superior time zones to the rest of the world. With Bomney as president the whole world will live in time zones that are proudly made in the USA! ;D Funniest shit I've read for a while! Vote Bomney for a better Amercia!
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Post by Boyo on Aug 21, 2012 11:36:34 GMT -5
Thanks. I'll be continuing the diary at the Paquador forum at XT, to give more people a chance to read it.
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